when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
