TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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