If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm at about main and main street
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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