who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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