went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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