Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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