Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
