We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
