1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
