We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm at about main and main street
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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