The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
