At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
