Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
