Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
