This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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