you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
