I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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