Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida