Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
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Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
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Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.