Jerry, you need to find god
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize