I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
