Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize