There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
