yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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