So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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