So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I believe in your delicious
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
