i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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