those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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