I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
