It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
