Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
