How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize