We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You dont lie about slip and slides
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
