I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize