WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
