he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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