if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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