Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
