hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
