Screwed.edu
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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