p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
