doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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