So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
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im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
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crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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