were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
