ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
