TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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