dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
