You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
