I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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