Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She's the barista slut.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Two words: nipple clamps
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