Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I can't turn off my feet"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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