hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
