Soap is not a condiment
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
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