Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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