You work out of a Hotel?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
