it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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