just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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