My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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