the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
